Kitchen Compatibility Tests?

Many thanks to jenniechris, today’s guest blogger. I have also experienced the frustration that comes from incompatible cooking styles…

L.

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I enjoy food. I mean to say, I enjoy reading about food, preparing it, learning how to make it, and doing creative things with food. It’s just more fun than going to your local fast food chain and eating the crap they peddle. So it makes sense that I would date someone who was similarly interesting in all things culinary. After all, I would want someone to take me to places that had delicious, unique things to eat, right?

Well, I did begin dating someone who was passionate and interested in food, in fact, more so than me. (My first contact with him was listening to my friend discuss gumbo making over the phone). I heard tell of his prowess in cooking, but other than a mediocre hamburger the first time I met him, it wasn’t until several months into our relationship that I found out just how good a cook he is. It was from him that I discovered my love—nay, my lust—for curry.

And not only is he a wonderful maker of delicious things to eat, he’s a food snob. Hence, I call him an epicure. He has certain recipes, certain things he likes to eat, certain ways of preparing things…Are you perhaps perceiving my dilemma? Think about that person you know who is so picky about one thing that if you try to help, they end up doing it anyway. That’s my boyfriend in the kitchen. I would try to assist, but would end up opening cans. Eventually, I got moved up to being able to cut vegetables, but had to listen with irritation to explanations of how to chop properly. If I testily told him to cut it out, he would remark, “Well, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

I like to think of this as a trial in our relationship. We were basically incompatible in the kitchen; we couldn’t cook together. It didn’t work. I’d eventually be shooed out or told he didn’t need help. Well, I like to cook too! So, finally, I started cooking on my own, and then telling him when everything was ready. This improved matters. He slowly started backing down about telling me the “proper” way to do things in the kitchen, and I lightened up a little by asking for his help.

I also discovered that if I was cooking and wanted him to keep his fingers out of my pies, then I needed to give him a task, one that would take time and keep him “over there”, i.e. not near my cooking. And if I wanted to help him, I simply had to tolerate the menial jobs of opening cans and peeling garlic (which I actually love peeling garlic, so…).

Life with the epicure is now good. We don’t fight over the right way to slice bell peppers, and I no longer have to listen to lectures on the proper way to hold a knife. I know what sorts of things he finds acceptable to cook with, and he enjoys my cooking, offering constructive criticism. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m not too intimidated to offer suggestions for dish improvements, which he usually at least considers.

So when you’re beginning to date someone, love food, and love to cook, be sure to match kitchen compatibility. It’s just as important as personality compatibility or any of those other “clicking” or “chemistry” factors that we like to rely on. But of course, if you don’t match up in the kitchen, don’t give up hope. If we can make it, so could you.

–jenniechris